Dear Nursing,
Why do you keep on pushing me away from you? I must admit that I used to hate you when I was in my senior high school. My parents even coerced me to pursue you. I cried day and night. I was really mad.
On the very first day of our classes, I did not have an inkling of what I am doing in the nursing school but quitting never crossed my mind. I went to the peak of my boredom when I was a sophomore student. I almost stopped studying in my third year but you did not give up on me. Until… Until something about you suddenly changed my mind as I went on studying. I saw you in a new light. I fell in love with you.
I marveled at the wonderful things you have done for me to change my mind. Your spirit of kindness, compassion, humility, and empathy to people made me joyously eager to pursue you no matter how hard and expensive it was. Remember all the sleepless nights I spent before I took the board exams three years ago because of my love for you?
But now, why….? Why are you doing this to me? You have never allowed me to stay with you for a longer time. You know that I want to stay with you forever…. Or, are you using the things of the past against me? Yes, I hated you! I despised you! You had no place in my heart. But now, you are the only one in it.
What about your promises to me when I was in college? Have you forgotten them all? Have you just used our college dean and guests speakers during the Annual Nurses’ Week to convey your promises to me? Were they all lies? Now tell me the truth!!!
There are lots of questions I’d like to ask from you.
Why did you choose someone who did not even passed the board exams to be with you? I was deeply wounded you know. He is currently working as a STAFF NURSE at the same hospital where I am currently practicing my RN residency. I don’t get paid because I am a volunteer and he gets paid because his mom is a training supervisor at that hospital. Why…? :’(
How about the things that happened several weeks ago? I was in a graveyard shift and you only gave me a ten-minute break! I should have taken a one and a half hour break for the whole eight-hour shift! My muscles were aching because of going back and forth. I was the only one who performed the routine blood extraction for more than thirty patients. I also did the vital signs monitoring for all the patients every four hours. One patient took me about five to ten minutes. I prepared and administered the medications to the patients assigned to me. I plotted the vital signs and I put entries to the patients’ charts one by one. I was extremely exhausted all throughout the night. Why are you using me? I am so devastated.
The staff nurses were just soundly sleeping at the nurses' station. I was crying while I was walking along the hallway of the pay ward because of heartache. I did not care whether or not the people saw me crying on their CCTV monitors installed. It was very unlikely because the guards on ground floor were already sleeping. I think they didn’t see me crying. Thank God, I was able to finish everything before I rushed to the call center for my training.
It’s been two weeks since I left you nursing. I fully understand that you don’t need me. Besides, there are a lot of nurses working for you. I still love you. Perhaps it would be best if I’ll stay this way. Away from you… It’s so painful to stay away from something you love.
But I’ll be back! I promise. When there is no supply of nurses willing to work for you… When everybody seems to ignore you… When you don’t have someone to turn to… When I am the only one left.. When the right time comes… I’ll be there for you. If and only if the right time comes…\
Love,
NUZA 7
Nuza Husain B. Avetria, RN, Ll.BQuality Assurance Department
Outbound Verification Team – PHI
Vision – X, Inc. Global Solutions
Outbound Verification Team – PHI
Vision – X, Inc. Global Solutions
Office: 632 8992200
Extension: 34207 and 34211
4th Floor 1024 Global Trade Center, EDSA, Quezon City, Philippines 1105
